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(Joke) The latest virus warning (non Audi content)

To take a bit of the edge off the sometimes serious nature of this list,
here's one you'll probably enjoy. 

It's a parody on all those d*mn virus alert messages. I almost didn't read
this one, but I'm glad I did. What a hoot!!

Of course, it is being probably being forwarded just as much, if not more,
than the actual Goodtimes alert!! (I know, I know, I am perpetuating it...
but just thought you all might enjoy a good chuckle!!)

Sorry for the extra bandwith, for those who take offense...

>Subject:      DANGER!!! VIRUS ALERT!!!
>Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
>scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
>recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes
>melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up
>the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch
>any CD's you try to play.
>It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid
>into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on
>the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead
>kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys
>when you are late for work.
>Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
>nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and
>shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back
>and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.
>It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It
>will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice
>mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and
>terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
>Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat
>up. It will make a batch of Methamphedimine in your bathtub and then leave
>bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with
>your new snowblower.
>Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.
>It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this message to
>everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If anyone else
>sends me another E-mail about this fake Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating
>them into a religion. I will do things to them that would make a horsehead
>in your bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.
                             Jim Griffin
                        Maryland, USA
   "Perception is often stronger than reality!"
                               '92 100S