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The T.A.P. experience (kinda long)

Hi folks,
   I just came back from a vacation down South. We had originally planned to
take my parent's Rv but were scared off by it's low fuel efficieny. So, instead
of the Rv, we drove my Q! 
   We  planned a visit to T.A.P. while we were in Florida. After two days in
Pensacola, at the Gulf Islands Nat'l Seashore, we bid farwell and headed down
the West Coast of Florida. 
   Arriving in Homosassa FL well after dark, I stopped and asked directions for
finding TAP from a gas station attendant. He had NEVER heard of it. A quick
glance in the phone book yielded no results either.
   Finally, going simply on the directions given from the list, we took a right
turn off of 19 South (across from the Flea market) and pulled into an
industrial park. At this point, me and my roadtrip buddy were exhausted and
almost delirious. The voyage down the country to FL, with visions of
little German Gnomes working on Audis in their Lederhosen had become a
pilgrimage. And then.. FINALLY...we were there! 
    What we found was a plain blue building, two garage-doorways to it, and the
words TOTAL PERFORMANCE written on the front. No Audis in sight. None at all...
I walked to the front door, and there was a small sign that said T.A.P.
I looked inside the glass door, and the only clue that this shop had ANYTHING
to do with Audis (besides the sign) was a SCCA Audi Poster very similiar to the
one I have hanging in my bedroom. Hmm.....
     "THIS is T.A.P.??"
    Okay.. sure it was after hours, we were exhausted, and had anticipated much
more (little german gnomes in lederhosen). 
My Road-trip pal was ready to strangle me (he owns a mustang). To really
understand what it felt like, you have to realize that (a) we are college
students (b) It was something like 11pm (c) we had just driven for 8-9 hours
and (d) we didn't have a place to sleep. 
     For a few minutes, we considered pitching the tent right there on Ivor's
front lawn. However, the thought of landing in Jail in the middle of nowhere
wasn't too appealing to us. So.. we spent the next several hours arguing over
what the heck we should do, while sipping coffee at Perkins in Port Richey.
     Eventually, we realized that we could either sleep in the car or get a
hotel room. Reality dawned on us, and we headed over to the Day's inn. 
     The next morning, we drove back to T.A.P.
Miracle of Miracles!! What a incognito shop! Tap was in Stealth.

Right outside the shop now sat a 1997 Pearl White A4T, covered in massive
T.A.P. racing regalia. The drool started, and would  continue for hours.
This vehicle had gorgeous work done to it.. beautiful large diameter wheels
(17"?), drilled rotors, metallic-red brake callipers. We peeked inside.. a
slush-box! What was that??
So.. we timidly stepped inside where we were greeted by Anita and soon by Ivor
himself. What a amazing operation the two of them run out there. He was very
friendly and spent probably a good hour just chatting with us about the work he
does. I wish I had a tape recorder for the things he said, because It was
dream-like to me. I believe I was at least mesmorized if not actually

The A4T outside actually belonged to AUDI! They had loaned it to him and he had
put on all his own stuff. European Car had just been there to do a photo=shoot
of the monster. It had a ton of work done to it. I believe Ivor even mentioned
something about putting it on the lift so EC could photograph the exhaust
system modifications.

He showed us around the garage.. in one corner was a mechanic taking the head
off of an S6 that had just arrived in from Michigan. "That's the one that ran
in 'One Lap' this year.. he wants 450hp this year.."

In another corner, a jet black S2 that had 6K worth of cosmetic,mechanical, and
electrical modifications to it... GORGEOUS..!

He had a couple of 5Ks, that were in various states of work. Two were for sale!
One of my friends is currently working on buying one of them.
The entire garage looked so clean to me.. and according to Ivor, it was
disgustingly filthy. He said that they had a break-in, and some scoundrel ran
off with all his tools! 

While we were talking, Anita comes out and tells Ivor that he has a call from
the Phillipines. Ivor runs over and a few minutes later, a white fiberglass(?)
hood was on it's way out the door.

"Ivor, I think I'm ready. Here is my credit card.."

And he handed me some tools.... out came the wastegate spring and the Mac-11...
in went a massaged computer and a stiffer wastegate spring...

OUCH! said the credit card!! ($360)

He claimes that the modification will produce 65+ horsepower on my Q. After
driving it.. I believe it! What an amazing difference. Unfortunately, the mod
has just made the poor shape that the suspension and brakes are in even more
apparent. As soon as the weather is warm enough.. I'll be putting in a new
Bomb. As soon as I can scape the cash.. I'll call Eric and put on the

Anyway... we took 7 or eight shots of the event. If somebody wants pictures of
TAP for a webpage or something, let me know and I'll send them to you.  
If you ever go there after hours, don't expect much. Ivor puts everything away
in the shop at night, including the cars.. 

I must say that I agree with Igor about the chip&boost upgrade package.. it is
the best money I've spent on the car. As for those of you in the market for an
A4 turbo... he has modifications to bring up the horsepower all the way up to
420 hp!!! Unbelievable.

Ivor handed me back my old spring and the old chip from the ECU. The old chip
even came in a little black box with a tap sticker on it. Nice momento.
Anyway.. I had a VERY pleasant T.A.P. experience. YMMV.

                               -Osman Parvez
                                89 200q (155K miles) 
                                Siena College
                                Albany NY

P.S. Ivor said that it wouldn't have surprised him to find some Audi fanatics
camped on his front lawn. 

BTW: Fuel Economy did suffer slightly after the modification, but it wasn't too
bad at all and more due to my  HEAVY right foot while the letters T.A.P.
rumbled through my head.