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Sanity check

This is _really_ off the wall.   If anyone gets to the end of this and
thinks I've lost it - you have my sympathy.  That's how I feel, too.

The ur-quattro lives, overnight, in a locked and alarmed garage.

The family run-about - a 1986 Passat GL5 - sits on a concrete apron
in front of it, with a movement sensor switching on a 500w floodlight
if anyone goes near it.   20,000 vehicles pass the house each day.

For the last three months, the Passat has been the target of persistent
petty theft:

a) The front bumper and all attached accessories.

b) The tax disc.

c) The front passenger window switch, and the front console switch
   for the rear passenger side window.

d) One wheel trim.

e) One indicator lens.

So we got the impression that someone, somewhere, was detailing a Passat
at our expense.  Annoying.

So I fitted an unobtrusive alarm - current and motion sensing.  Sure
enough, three weeks ago at 04:20, it went off and we looked out of the
window to see the passenger door open by a few inches.  Fine - the
bastard knows there's an alarm and perhaps he'll leave us in peace.

Until today.  My wife took the car on a long drive and, just as she
was entering the village again (60 miles later) she was temporarily
blined by the sun and pulled for the washers.  The windscreen wipers
were all over the place.

A check showed that the nuts securing each windscreen wiper arm were
_VERY_ loose - only holding on by a turn or two.  Now - I'm happy that
nuts loosen of their own accord every now and then.  But _both_ at once,
and to the same degree?

My best scenario is that someone has:

a) Removed the plastic cap from the left wiper arm boss.

b) Loosened the 11mm nut.

c) Replaced the cap.

d) Removed the plastic cap from the right wiper arm boss.

e) Loosened the 11mm nut.

f) Replaced the cap.

It's weird.  The usual scenarios of "disturbed in the act of theft"
don't apply.

Has _anyone_ ever seen or heard of _both_ wiper arm securing nuts
loosening off by around four turns each simultaneously within the
space of around four days after 120000 miles and 12 years of
uneventful service?

Given that the most recent event is neither theft nor criminal damage,
but merely seems to be intended to cause annoyance, I've asked the
police to redefine the events as "stalking".  The advantage is in the
severity - stalking is taken pretty seriously here.  Police Constables
Derbyshire and Haydon of the Finedon Division are investigating under
incident NW 401/98 and others.  I'm obviously fairly concerned - every
family trip is currently preceded by a brake and general safety check.

 Phil Payne
 Phone: 0385 302803   Fax: 01536 723021
 (The contents of this post will _NOT_ appear in the UK Newsletter.)