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Holy AWD, guys, I've got it! While I was mulling over the latest vitriol regarding T*rsen diffs, the Muses favored me with a sudden bolt of inspiration. Why not put the entire Spider Bite thread on a CD ROM (if it will fit, that is) and ship it off to the wonderful folks at Sixty Minutes? Think about it! Those fair-minded and good-natured people would quickly air an Unintended Spider Bite feature to save the great unwashed from a horrible end. You say that would once again cause U.S. Audi sales to plunge to near-zero? Exactly, that's the point! Think of it-- cheap Quattros for we cognoscenti: A4s for 5,000 USD, A8s for 15,000 USD! And you thought the T*rsen thread was counterproductive-- think again, Waldo!
No need to thank me for graciously sharing this brilliant insight; just send your dollar to the coincidentally-named, non-profit (well, sort of) Mittell Foundation for the Promulgation of Urban Legends and Cheap Quattros. Cash only-- no checks, please.