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A modest proposal re spiders

Folks, it seems to me that the only way we are going to really learn
anything out of all this is to do some proper testing.  Scott and Jeff
claim to be able to reproduce their results reliably.  Phil and Dave scoff
at the very idea.  I say lets have a showdown.  The two sides agree (is
this possible) on a definitive test program.  Perhaps Scott goes over to
Merry Olde for a test ride/drive through the lanes after Martin has
satisfied himself that all is in order or Phil visits Chicago and Scott's
private test track with ajacent alignment facility to see for himself.
Wherever it is maybe some locals could spectate, referee and keep the rest
of us posted.  At the end everyone has a few beers on the crow eater, if
the results are conclusive which they should be if the experiment is
properly designed.  In fact, I suggest that everyone have several beers
together under any circumstances so we don't have to have another round of
this endless, unresolved flaming.  Will the principals take up the
challenge?   I've got fifty bucks toward the expenses.  Any other
contributors?  And, by the way, where is kindly old Unka Bart when people
need to be reminded to maintain proper decorum?