Twas the night before Christmas

Brett Dikeman brett at
Wed Dec 24 18:35:22 EST 2003

Yes, that's right, its the third annual Audifans-flavored Christmas 
poem, proving once and for all why I wasn't an English lit major. 
Still, every year I get a bunch of emails from people who loved it, 
so it'll kick around for a little bit longer.  I do believe this is 
the first Christmas we've had the S-car-list under the Audifans 
tree(who woulda thought- not I!), so I'll bless(?) them with this as 
well :-)

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the list
not a NAC post would appear, not even in the mist

The cars were all parked with the greatest of care
in the hopes the Audi gods would not even dare

when out in the driveway there rose such a clatter
I sprang from the bed, to see what was the matter
All at once I threw open the sash,
I pictured all my quattros, stolen in a flash!

when what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a Pearl Audi avant, with no tiny reindeer
the driver had speed and control in such good mix,
I knew in a moment, it must be an S-6

More rapid than any beemer he came
the turbo whistled, the engine roared just the same
Dual chrome exhaust tips tucked under the car's rear
from each a small wisp of steam did appear

and then in a twinkling I heard on the spire
the crunch of snow, under each studded tire

He went straight to the garage without turning off the car
and placed on a shelf eurolights, from a place quite afar

Leaving a heater core with care on the floor
he filled the parts bins then turned with a jerk,
and handed me a steak knife, with a cute little smirk

He sprang to his car which idled at wait
with a clack from the tranny the gears did mate
With a good throttle blip and a little clutch burn,
he induced oversteer, for a very quick turn

But I heard him exclaim, ere he roared around the bend,
Happy Quattroing to all and may luck be your friend!

"He knows about your bank account; he knows what you've read; he 
knows if you've been bad or good, so be good or its Cuba for you. 
Oh, you better watch out, you better not shout; we can't tell you 
John Ashcroft is coming, to town..."

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