emissions debacle (need a new tranny)

Shawn Manny shawn.manny at gmail.com
Sat Apr 14 14:51:11 EDT 2007

wow...not a quattro story but an emissions screw up non the less. We (my
wife and I) went to get her Saab 9000 emission tested, they went to pull it
on the rollers as a rear drive car..I pounded on the glass booth windows
shouting "its front wheel drive!!" the told me not to pound on the
glass...then they couldn't figure out the reverse lock out ring, I yet again
stepped out to tell them and they basically said "get back in the booth we
know what were doing"..well the neanderthal women "running" the test
couldn't drive stick to save her life and the dyno kept saying "insufficient
power"...finally she/he/it gave up and got the manager who breezed through
the test. As we got in the car to leave, the shemale came to the window and
told me "somethings wrong with your car, you need to get new tires, an
alignment or something"..I replied "the tires are new, it just had an
alignment and I know the car is fine, lets go hunny (looking at my
wife)"..to this the creature replied "whatever daddy says"..at this point I
almost jumped out of the car and beat her back to her appropriate time
period...luckily my wife lacks the temper I do and drove off before I got
out. I hate emission testing and will only take my car to the one in the
ritzy part of town where they see ferrari's etc as they know how to drive a
stick and they also know what all wheel drive is. I cant wait for this
antiquated BS sytem to go away.....
*steps off my soap box*

On 4/14/07, Robert Myers <bob at chips-ur-s.com> wrote:
> Wow.  :-(  Stories like this make me very happy that WV does not do
> sniff testing.
> At 12:24 PM 4/14/2007, Jeremiah Curry wrote:
> >About three weeks ago I took my 1991 200 20v in to have the yearly
> emissions
> >done.  As was waiting for the them to finish, I looked out the window and
> >they had my car with the front tires on the dyno and the back tires
> chocked
> >and they had just started it and were trying to measure the emissions at
> >speed.  I yelled at the lady in the office "what is he doing?, my car is
> All
> >Wheel drive"  She shrugged and said "I don't know ask him" so I ran into
> the
> >shop where he was still revving the engine in first gear trying to figure
> >out why the car was hopping and feeling weird.  Once I told him it was
> all
> >wheel drive he was like "oh really, I looked for the rear drivelines and
> >couldn't see them.  I mentioned that it said quattro on the grill and in
> the
> >model name on the paperwork and he said "sorry"
> >
> >Long Story short, they went to pull the car out of the stall and it was
> >bucking and making horrible noise.  I talked to their management and they
> >rented me a car (Chevy Equinox, then Chevy HHR) and towed my car to my
> >mechanic.  He has had the car for three weeks. He replaced the rear diff
> and
> >cv joints and said it was much improved, but there was still something
> >wrong.  He thinks it is the transmission and is trying to find one.
> >
> >Moral of the story, never assume and be sure to mention that your car is
> >all-wheel drive to the monkey-boy at the emissions shop.  I hear of
> another
> >place in town that did the same thing, but instead of chocking the wheels
> >they just chained the car, and it went through the wall.
> >
> >Jeremiah
> >
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