[V8] RE: V8 Digest, Vol 16, Issue 6

Roger M. Woodbury rmwoodbury at downeast.net
Wed Feb 2 09:47:06 EST 2005


Roger - 

Your base for judging all BMW's is the (underpowered
but fun to drive) 1600, the (decent but rustly) 2002,
the (overpriced and underpowered) 320i, and the
(underengineered) 528E? 

Uh, UNDERpowered 1600?  Well, maybe.  My wife (at the time) and I bought
her a new 1600 just before we were married.  When that car was being
serviced, the dealer showed me another 1600 that had just arrived.  This
one said "Alpina" on the opposite side of the Roundel on the rear; had
an "Alpina" faced tachometer in place of the huge clock on the
instrument panel, two sway bars and under the hood two 40DCOE Weber
carburetors.  I mortgaged my soul and bought that car, and trust me:  it
wasn't underpowered.

I'm sorry, but there is a lot that's happened since
1984.  If I remember correctly, 45,000$ would have
gotten you a 1983 Turbo Quattro Coupe - one of the
most expensive, complexe production cars at the time -
that would have unceremoniously chewed up and spit out
all of its electricals.

Yes of course.  A lot has happened.  In 1983 one of my clients was a
VW/Audi dealership and he had one of the Ur Quattro Coupes on the floor
of his showroom, which he showed to me.  I laughed:  $45,000 for an
"overrated" Audi?  What a joke, because memories of both the 90S and
100LS were fresh in my mind, as a friend had had a 100LS on Cape Cod and
although it might have been just deserts for an IRS agent, he really was
a nice fellow and as a human being, deserved better.  (He ended up
buying a Subaru and bought a set of Carello 7" Quartz-iodine headlamps
from my little lighting company for it.  He put them in himself, and the
added draw fried his switch and the cat guts that the Japanese used for
wiring on those cars at the time.  But that is a whole 'nother

  Objectivity, my man,
objectivity.  Your psychosis is surpassed only by Alfa
Romeo owners, who are unable to admit that it's been
nearly 70 years since Alfa did something really good

Alfa Romeo actually built GOOD cars?  I mean cars that would run when
they were out of sight of Milan?

  And funky Japenese design studios?  The new
Audis look like Dodge Ram pickups from the front. 

Yup,  sure do.  And that is another big reason that one won't grace my
driveway.  I do live in the woods and the nearest neighbor can't
actually see what is in my driveway.  But a passing moose might, and I
don't want to have to deal with a moose that saw one of those strange
looking front ends in my yard and keeled over laughing.


The E39 - a muscular, good looking V8 sedan (much like
ours) is a great choice in the used market, even in
Automatic - but also available with 6 forward gears
(much unlike ours).

Lessee if I have this right.  This is the famous 540i sedan mit the
Veeeate engine, isn't it.  The one that the Roundel Magazine was
collecting information on because BMW was replacing engines left and
right after the oil pump mounting bolts were working loose and
unceremoniously dropping the oil pumps into the sump while the car was
rolling along the highway?  

And of course, there is always that rear wheel drive thing that BMW
clings to with such ferosity:  for a daily driver up here in the sticks,
as I said before, with studded tires on all four wheels, you can
survive, but in the face of Quattro, why would anyone want to do that?

  And what's this 2nd gen. Supra
lookalike 8-Series lusting I've heard about?????? 
You've been caught cheating.....!!!!

I don't think I know what a "2nd gen. Supra" is, let alone think about



Message: 9
Date: Wed, 2 Feb 2005 07:47:06 -0600
From: Unka Bart <gatorojo at earthlink.net>
Subject: RE: [V8] RE: confessions of a V8...
To: v8 at audifans.com
Message-ID: <ED890A29-7520-11D9-9385-000D9368F16A at earthlink.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII; format=flowed

Our Brother Roger notes:

>>> Oh yeah.  And another thing.  IF I did do the V8 thing again,
>>> item in the restoration/recreation exercise would be the big Brembo
>>> brakes and one size up wheels.
>>> Now, I'll go back and lie down some more.

and brother Keith, bringing some salt to the table notes:

>> Funny you should mention that Roger.....your former V8 now sports a 
>> pair
>> of 993tt Big Reds w/ slotted 314x30mm rotors...and lightweight 17"
>> wheels.

to which Roger Laments:

> Must be one of those gummint worker's cars now.
> Boy!  You sure know how to hurt a guy!
> Roger
> (Oh, well.  At least the car was worth the effort!)

And yer kindly ol' Unka Bart replies,

Make that, "one of them RETIRED gummit workers..." please!  And be glad 
brother Keith is a kind and loving soul, not really wishing to add to 
one's pain
and suffering, withheld any mention of the kind of suspension mods that 
in Maine would prevent a feller from contemplating, much less enjoying!


Ok, ok, ok.  RETIRED gummint worker.

But you can't kid a kidder.  That "brother Keith is a kind and loving
soul not really wishing to add to one's pain and suffering" just doesn't
wash.  I have strong vibes that good, ole brother Keith is a mean and
conniving type of guy who is just hinting gently that what I really
should do is rush out and snap up another V8, run right down to his
little falling down garage where he will lavish Big Red's, big wheels,
and a few other little natty things that would work perfectly well on
the entertaining twisties that exist up here in the hustings.  

I got Keith's number: he just thinks that if he hints around the edges
that I'll bite.

But I'm too smart:  I've done my V8's and am NEVER gonna do another one!
There!  I said it!  And you are ALL my witnesses!  


(Psst:  Keith:  are you there?  What IS the deal:  better from Brembo
direct of from Porsche?)


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