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Close encounters of the worst kind

Hi fellow Audians,

Just thought I'd relate a story re my 1988 80 1.8S:

Yesterday evening I was, as usual, taking the off-ramp leading from one
highway to another on my way home. There was a guy with a Saab 900 in the
lane to the left of me, without any lights on despite the rapidly incoming
dark. As the guy was not indicating I assumed he was going straight on.
Wrong! Without indicating or looking in his mirror he decided to push me
off the road. Hitting my brakes and high beam at the same time I managed to
avoid him by sheer luck only. Thus we proceeded up the on-ramp, with me
about 10 feet behind him. Believe me, this is *not* my usual driving style
but people cutting me up annoy the hell out of me. Anyway, we were about
halfway down the ramp, when suddenly I saw something coming towards me with
great speed, ending with a bang on the front of my car. As there was
nothing wrong with the car I could feel or see from the inside, and my
lights were still functioning, I went on. There was no place to stop there
anyway, it was way too busy. The guy in the Saab, until that moment driving
relatively slowly, suddenly made speed and shot off into the dark driving
like a madman. The first off-ramp I went off the highway and stopped to
investigate my car. At first I noticed nothing wrong, but then I realised
that the front licence plate with its plastic holder was missing. There was
also a large scratch on my bumper, and I discovered large wood splinters
lodged in the intakes in my front bumper. Ergo: I had somehow managed to
hit a relatively large block of wood, and had my aerodynamic undershield to
thank for my sump still being in one piece... That's also the first time
I'm lucky to be too close to someone (if I'd been a couple of feet further
away, it would've had hit my headlight ($$) or my bonnet (hood) ($$$) or
windscreen ($$$)! I still don't know if the wood was thrown up by his
wheels or if the guy threw it out of the window (would't have been the
first time) because he was annoyed (hmmm).

This afternoon I went back to the place where it had happened, to see if I
could salvage anything. Driving on the ramp I could see a lot of wood
splinters, so I parked my car in the grass and crossed the highway to see.
(No rush hour, not a lot of traffic). The sight fair turned my stomach!
There ware the remains of an extremely large plank lying all over the grass
verge. If that would've hit my windscreen it would've been hospital for me,
to say the least! Walking a couple of yards along the ramp I couldn't
believe my eyes: there was my front licence plate, still intact, lying
beside the road. As I had my plates custom made to replace the battered
originals a few months ago ($$) and I had thought the sight of it lying
beside the road would have been too tempting for some less honest
element... Anyway, the hefty plastic holder thing behind the plate was in
shreds, so I ordered a new one from my friend the VAG mechanic- to my
surprise it cost only equiv $10! Who said Audi parts are expensive?

Moral of this story: tailgaters are mostly wrong, but sometimes right...

BTW Keep the stories coming: I love all the snow-and-ice stuff!

Bye for now,

Tom ('Relieved is my middle name') Nas.

   Tom W. Nas, graphic design                        tnas@dtpdirect.nl
   DTP Direct bv                              Voice +31 (55) 5 790 799
   Apeldoorn, the Netherlands                   Fax +31 (55) 5 790 125

    Q:  How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A:  Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the
        bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.