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Audis, batteries, and other of life's stupidities

I had not intended this to go to the whole mailing list; I screwed up in
what was supposed to be a email reply only to the sender. Sigh. But as
long as it did, [and I got ever so mildly flamed], let's set things 

     Two things, Audi provides a vent hose that connects to the battery (and 
   the Champion replacement I have) which takes the gasses out of the passenger

Yes, this I know - that was the point! Hydrogen and enclosed spaces full of
clacking German relays do not go together! That's why I paid an exorbitant
price for an "real" German battery designed for the car, instead of buying
something like a Diehard that works when it gets cold out. (Well, live and

   Second, There is no need to remove the rear seat to jump the car.  Audi has
   thoughtfully provided a terminal for such things.  It is located in front
   of the air box on the frame rail.  Naturally, this is the positive terminal
   since ground points are all around.

   (* not really a flame, but Audi thought of these things and you did not *)

***WRONG*** At least on my 1983 Turbo Quattro Coupe, there is no "thought-
fully provided terminal". I looked. I looked hard. I got my flashlight out
and peered into crevices, crannies, and the like. The usual profusion of
wiring, relays, hoses, and other paraphenalia, but no jump points. I got
out the owners manual (just in case I was missing something obvious like a
thoughtfully provided jumper terminal in the left rear wheel well or the
like), and on page 72 section "Emergency starting with jumper cables" it
says, and I quote:

  1.	Connect clamp of plus-cable to positive
	(+) terminal of discharged battery.

  2.	Connect clamp on opposite end of cable
	to positive (+) terminal of booster

  3.	Connect clamp of minus-cable to nega-
	tive (-) terminal of booster battery.

  4.	Connect clamp on opposite end of cable
	to a bare metal part bolted directly to the
	engine block or to the engine block itself
	of car with discharged battery.

This impression is then further bolstered by a linedrawing of two batteries'
positive terminals connected together with a jumper cable.

So, yes ***I*** did indeed think of it, and ***NO AUDI DID NOT THINK OF IT***.

I feel better now . . .